So Just some backgrounds- My first Post!

So this is my first post. I thought I should start it with some background on myself...where I've been kinda thing. I'm gonna try to keep it short. I love to talk.

So this year has been a crazy one. In January we decided that we wanted to have another baby. Delaney was going to be 3 at the end of the year so we thought the timing was perfect. I wanted the kids to be exactly 3 years apart- So, I was shooting to get pregnant in March. Not to mention- Delaney was going to ask for a baby sister from Santa for Christmas...
So in March I got it set in my mind..a few of my friends said- You're crazy, you're running out of time for an 08 baby! But we were blessed and I did get pregnant in March, and ended up with the SAME due date that I had with Delaney, Dec 15th. SO here we go...puking, moods, not able to eat food, hating life... Sorry, I loathe being pregnant- BUT I just kept my eye on the prize.
In May, my Dad, whom was my ROCK, my best friend, the soul reason I am who I am, my everything...called and told me he had cancer on his kidneys. It was called sqaumous cell carcinoma. The Dr.s told him he would need surgery to remove most of his internal organs in June- but that he would probably still have a good 5-10 years of life. I said "OK- We can get through this. Just like we ALWAYS do"
On June 13th he had his surgery. I was 4 months pregnant. He made me PROMISE OVER AND OVER that I would never do anything to jepordize my pregnancy. The baby already meant so much to him. They removed his Colon, Rectum, Prostate, Bladder, and appendix. He had an Urostomy and Colostomy bag. He seemed to do well with the surgery, and went home about 2 weeks later. He was making strides in getting well through the month of July. We were down to see him several times. He had started Radiation, and really sounded positive. Then on August 3rd, I received a call early in the morning that he had been rushed to the ER by Ambulance. To make a VERY long couple of weeks shorter- a whole had been burned in his intestine, he went through 2 more surgeries and double kidney failure. This battle was over- just how long was it going to take. I was crushed, and refused to give in to the fact that this man, the strongest man I had EVER known- was going. He tried to protect me because I was pregnant and refused to talk about "the end" with me. Something I very much regret!
On Labor Day weekend we were in Boise for 5 days as we thought that was the end. We came home on Monday and I was having contractions already at 25 weeks pregnant. I went to the dr and my cervix was already dialating and I was put on contraction medication. I was in pre-term labor and had the stress of the world on my shoulders... There was NO way to relax. Those last couple days, all I wanted to do was talk to him and tell him I was going to be ok, that I loved him, and I would tell Tristan all about him.

On September 17th, early in the morning, My father passed away, he was 66. It was something I had prayed for, to please take his pain away, and now it was all over. This was the worst moment in my life, I had NO IDEA it would hurt so much, I almost couldn't breathe. It amazed me that in one moment, all the pain that he had felt for all those months suddenly passed to me, to my heart...I will never forget that feeling.
I made it through another 9 weeks in my pregnancy, despite a huge load of responsibilities taking care of my Dad's affairs. I had a REALLY strong support system in my family and my friends- mainly my TWW DOOPS girls! & How could Delaney not get me through this, reminding me every day that Papa was "with Kevin (Heaven) with the angels" :) I think the thing that gets me through each day, is now my dad is watching over us all the time.

On November 3rd @ 2:32 pm my tiny wonder Tristan Michael was born 6 weeks premature. It was a bittersweet moment. So much emotion, and the last 5 months, came to an end, in one moment, and started down a new road. All the sudden I wasn't sure what to do. In my blog you will probably see my strong days and see my weak days. I miss my dad with every ounce of my heart, and I love my family with every ounce of my heart.

I pray every day for just one more minute...